Time for a Halloween story. And let’s make it in third person…
There was a time, long, long, ago, when our author, Triple J, was a primary school teacher.
She worked in a festering, corroded school on the edge of a bewitched forest. The forest was filled with ninja scarecrows, child-eating snails, razor toothed bunny-rabbits, poison dart canaries and other friendly creatures.
The children at the school were all rotten. They screamed, kicked and spat at not only each other, but also the teachers. In fact, not even razor tooth bunnies escaped their wrath.
It was third term, and Halloween was approaching. The teachers were not looking forward to this day. The students would run wild and be uncontrollable in their hideous costumes.
But one teacher (that teacher being Triple J) had had enough of the students’ monstrous behaviour and she was going to do something about it. So she went home Halloween Eve and carved herself a magical jack-o-lantern.
The next day at school, Triple J placed the jack-o-lantern at the front of the classroom.
“No-one is to touch this jack-o-lantern,” she told the class.
Triple J actually knew, that if she told the class not to touch the magical pumpkin, then surely everybody would! Reverse psychology works wonders on children.
After addressing the class, Triple J turned her back to write on the blackboard. As soon as she did this, little Johnny, the most cunning of all students, got up out of his seat and stealthily crept towards the jack-o-lantern. Triple J heard the creaks of the floorboards as he progressed forward and smiled to herself, for she knew what was about to happen.
Little Johnny reached the jack-o-lantern and snickered with delight. Who was this teacher kidding? Did she really think she could stop him from touching the jack-o-lantern? What a down right fool, he thought.
When he reached the jack-o-lantern, he stretched out his arm, with extended fingers, and stuck them right in the jack-o-lantern’s mouth.
The mouth of the jack-o-lantern snapped shut and bit poor little Johnny’s fingers right off. Such tough luck for Johnny, the evil little child, he was now fingerless for the rest of his life! Johnny stood motionless, mouth agape, as he watched his fingers fall to the floor, where they wriggled around like slugs for a while.
Then something even more magical happened. A wave of golden light swept over the offensive school. It changed from a mouldy, dark hovel to a sparkling mansion, pristine and bright. The bewitched forest became a land of rainbows and bubblegum and the children transformed into considerate and polite little beings. That is…all except for little Johnny.
Nobody knows what happened to this little rat-bag. He was never to be seen again. The school however, kept Johnny’s fingers encased in a glass dome at the reception area. Every day, when the students entered the school, they would see Johnny’s fingers and be reminded of what could happen to them, if ever they chose to be naughty and petulant.
NOTE: there is only one truthful fact in this story and that is that Triple J was once a teacher. All other settings, events and characters, if you haven’t guessed, have been slightly falsified! But in the name of Halloween, embellishment was totally necessary.
How to Make Frankfurt Halloween Fingers
This idea was taken from this website
1.) Cut a small section off the top of the frankfurt, this is where the nail will eventually go.
2.) Cut three grooves half way down the frankfurt, this will be the knuckle
3.) Cut the onion into thick slices, then cut the slices into slightly triangular pieces. Put the onion and frankfurts into boiling water for a few minutes. As they boil the fingers will bend slightly. They should look like the image below…awesome!
Oh and don’t turn your back on them or your cat will eat them. My cat has magic powers, that’s why his eyes are so green…true story.
4.) Put some tomato sauce on the tip of the frankfurt, where you initially cut off a chunk. Then put on a piece of onion…that’s your nail. Drizzle on some more tomato sauce around the bottom of the frankfurt if you like, make them look real bloody and spooky.